Category Archives: life

Baring all with Quiz Clothing

25th August 2017

2017 has been the first year in a considerable while where I haven’t had a wedding or other special event to go to. I still love a cheeky browse of occasion dresses though, especially as one of my cousins got engaged at the weekend so there is definitely at least one wedding on the horizon.

I was recently contacted by Quiz Clothing who matched me with the dreamiest, most stunning dress- and whilst it might be a bit OTT for a wedding I’m very much hoping that I can find some cause to wear this other than prancing around the garden.

Dress c/o Quiz Clothing (here) | Shoes: Mary Portas at Clarks (old)

If I were shopping for a dress then nude wouldn’t be a colour I’d usually consider, I’d long ago dismissed it as a bit…naked looking if I’m honest and not something that would suit me.
Popping this sequin adorned maxi dress on though and I’m converted. For the time it took to get these photos I felt like a complete princess- I wish it was acceptable to dress like this every day!

The process of getting these photos did stir up a few conflicting feelings though. As I said, this dress really does make me feel like a princess but at the same time it clings, it sticks to curves I’m only just starting to see appear. It hammers home just how much my body has changed in the last few months and of course that is a bittersweet moment.

My main issue right now is that I’m only about 50 percent of the way through the weight gain process, but in my mind, thanks to the twisted grasp of an eating disorder I’m already there and beyond. Putting on an outfit like this can really play havoc with that mindset and it’s actually taken a huge amount of courage to post these photos due to how I see them vs. how I’m assured the rest of the world (well, my readers) will see them.

And still I persist. Onwards and onwards to a life where I don’t care that my arms aren’t stick like, that my stomach isn’t concave and my face is fuller. In the past I’ve always had in the back of my mind that if I don’t feel good at my target weight I can always go back- as warped as that sounds. This time I don’t have that. This time it’s final and I refuse to entertain ever going backwards again. It’s making this whole journey that much more difficult whilst I’m going through it- but the future? MY future? That excites me in ways I can’t even begin to explain.

Back in to the world of fashion & shopping now and I am absolutely loving some of the new arrivals on the Quiz Clothing website. I’ve always advocated them on the blog but right now there is literally SO much I want- if you’re looking for affordable and on trend wardrobe updates then do pop along and check them out…as you can see, they’re particularly good for a fancy dress or two.

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Posted in brands I love, dresses, fashion, life, life stuff, outfits, personal style, recovery, shopping

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In the Pink

15th May 2017

The high street is a very tempting place right now. Everywhere I turn there are pieces that find themselves added to my ever-growing wish list and it’s a great source of frustration to me that I can’t afford the all out spending spree that I am so desperately craving.

A few weeks ago on my birthday I went over to Bath for the day with my Mum, Grandad and Brother and we found ourselves in Primark. I was trying my best to avert my eyes from all of the new season arrivals but there was one dress that I saw and couldn’t forget no matter how hard I tried. In the end Mum kindly stepped in and treated me (30th birthday perks!) and I’ve been waiting impatiently for the weather to be good enough to wear it.

Dress: Primark (and only £10) | Shoes: Long Tall Sally (gorgeous alternative)

Pink isn’t usually a colour I go for when it comes to clothing, although given that it’s supposed to be one of THE colours of the season I guess it’s going to get harder to avoid. There was something just so appealing about this dress, it’s girlier than most things I own and probably a bit dressier as well which makes it perfect for date nights and my ever growing social life.

It also has great potential to be dressed up further with some super high heels and jewellery, or taken in the other direction and worn as a casual piece with converse and a denim jacket. I’m still on the mission for the perfect denim jacket so if anyone has any suggestions then please do let me know.

For someone who has suddenly got a lot more happening in her life I seem to have very little to say for myself at the moment. I’m busier and happier than I have been for a very long, things are starting to move in the right direction in all areas of my life and at some point I’ll probably sit down and do a more in depth update on my recovery journey. In the mean time I’m taking things one day at a time and mostly loving every second. I didn’t dare believe it when people said to me that 2017 would be my year, after such a horrendous 2016. Five months in and I’m starting to accept that maybe they were right. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows but things are certainly on the up and better than I ever dared hope.

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Posted in fashion, life, life stuff, outfits, personal style, shopping

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Learning to Silence my Inner Critic

19th April 2017
Initially I wasn’t going to use the set of photos below in a blog post. They aren’t quite right and don’t show the outfit as I wanted it to be shown. But it got me thinking about something that’s been running along in the background of my mind for a while now and so actually, from something imperfect I’m able to write an altogether different to what I planned blog post.

Dress and Tee: Monki | Converse from Schuh

So basically these photos triggered a whole big train of thought about my long-standing battle with perfectionism. I didn’t set any resolutions at the start of 2017 but it was always a goal of mine to try to get more control over my issues with, well, control and making everything “just right”. It’s something that has governed my life for as long as I can remember and has been an undercurrent to my anorexia since the word go. Ever since I started this journey of recovery back in the Summer last year I knew that to get any degree of success I would eventually have to learn to live more in the moment and less in a micro-managed bubble, and now, almost a year on I’ve realised that actually I am less ruled by it than I can ever recall being.

Now, I don’t have a secret to my success. It’s been a long battle and a lot of it is still very much trial and error. There are a couple of things that I have found really helpful though- the first of that being a course of CBT which saw me learn how to break my self-imposed rules (like actually being on time for things instead of constantly ten minutes early, or to accept a spontaneous invitation). I’m awaiting a start date for a more intense course which will delve more in to the root causes but even the basics gave me the tools I needed to start to break free.

The second thing that made a massive difference was learning the art of mindfulness. It’s always been something I was wary and dismissive of, but having been persuaded to give it a go by various people I decided I had nothing to lose and started to dedicate 5-10 minutes a day to it. I initially went with the Headspace and Calm apps but also made the purchase of “A Mindfulness Guide for the Frazzled” by Ruby Wax which proved to be a witty, relatable account of her own struggles as well as containing a six week guided programme which has helped me no end.

Of course it’s not for everyone but I thought it worth sharing these thoughts as they spill out of my mind. As ever with me partly so my blog can serve as a “record of achievement”, but also in the hope that even one person might read this and find something that could help against their own demons.

And the result of all this? Well, it’s only recently that the rewards have become evident. From challenging my social anxieties and attending a Blog Club Brunch in Bristol to attending the Grandaddy gig the other week. Spontaneous plans with friends have been followed through instead of a “yes, I’ll do it” followed shortly by a swift “no, actually I can’t today”. I’ve also found myself in the early days of a new relationship, in which I could not be happier (and that was a true case of spontaneous actions paying off) and I’m now able to relax, read, listen to music or watch a film without a constant state of panic and dread that I might have forgotten to do something vital.

I’ve literally just sat here and banged out this post in the last 45 minutes without any real intention of doing so- that’s definitely something I couldn’t have done six months ago! But with that comes the risk that it’s a whole lot of nonsense, utter drivel and full of poor grammar and punctuation mistakes…but you know what? That’s ok. Real life isn’t perfect and it doesn’t need to be perfect to be wonderful, and for me, that is the greatest lesson of them all.

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Posted in life, life stuff, lifestyle, personal style, recovery

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The Details

12th April 2017
I’m not entirely sure what to say about this outfit. It’s one of those that isn’t typical “Laura” style and yet it’s one I really liked. As I’m still working very much part time at the moment I’ve really been embracing the casual approach when I’m at home- it’s gone from being a bit of can’t be bothered kind of thing to something that I can relax and enjoy.

Tee: Daisy Street | Jeans: Noisy May at Very | Shoes: New Look

It’s a bit of an embroidery detail overload here but I’m rollin’ with it. The jeans were a bit of an impulse buy to be honest, not my standard skinnies by any stretch of the imagination. I was suckered in by the “sorry I’m late I didn’t want to come” slogan (despite I’m never late for anything, ever!) and when they arrived I was quite taken with the laid back fit. It’s good to change things up from time to time right?

I pretty much lived in this Daisy Street tee last year, on rotation with the three others I own and now the warmer weather is here I don’t see that changing any time soon. I’ve already declared my love of slogan tees so I won’t ramble on but they really can’t be beat.

The shoes were another impulse buy. Enamoured with the floral embroidery and pretty pink colour I couldn’t resist placing a sneaky New Look order a few weeks ago despite my preference for either ankle boots of converse. I’m determined to get the wear out of these though, they are just so pretty (and comfortable) and pretty perfect to bridge that gap between boots season and sandal season.

Ok, so essentially this is a post about nothing much in particular. I just wanted to share the outfit without really having anything to say for myself. I’m still in that re-adjustment period of being back in work, settling in to routine and building up a pretty nice life outside of it too. I’ll try and bring something more structured to the table next time and in the mean time…what have you been buying lately?

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Posted in fashion, life, life stuff, outfits, personal style, shoes, shopping

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Relaxing with Hampstead Tea

08th April 2017
I have a bit of a reputation for being a caffeine junkie, never far away from a cup of coffee. In a bid to be a bit more healthy I’m trying to step it down a notch though, I’m pretty sure it’s not helping my already erratic sleep pattern among other things.

I’ve always been the kind of person who’ll experiment with herbal teas- I go through phases of loving and hating them and at the moment I’m experimenting with a different flavours and brands trying to find some that don’t just taste of nothing, or worse, taste like dirty swamp water (or what I imagine it to taste like having never actually sampled it).

Enter Hampstead Tea who were kind enough to send me a couple of their new blends- an intriguing sounding Honeybush & Vanilla* blend named “Shangri La as well as a soothing camomile*.

Out of the two blends it was the Honeybush & Vanilla that I was most curious to try. As a rule I love vanilla flavoured things. It was described as being a decadent and smooth blend and I really can’t argue with that description. I’m still not entirely sure what honeybush is meant to taste like, but combined with the camomile and vanilla that make up the rest of this flavour this made for a delicate and relaxing mid-morning alternative to yet another coffee. A good 4 minutes brewing time left this full of flavour and the brand win brownie points for individually wrapping their bags making them ideal for popping in my work bag for a moment of peace during the working day.

The Camomile was equally good. I’ve drunk a lot of Camomile tea over the years, in a bid to relax and unwind before bed more than anything and I’ve mostly been non-plussed. This was up there with one of the best I’ve had. Naturally caffeine free and full of flavour after a 3 minute brew this is a Camomile I’d actively seek to buy again and at £2.30 for 20 sachets of tea I can’t argue with the price.

For anyone looking to meditate their inner spirit, Hampstead Tea have also released a Valerian and Lavender blend, I declined to try this one as I don’t like lavender and can’t take Valerian but it sounds promising- the combination of ingredients are designed to help send you to sleep and essentially soothe the soul.

Hampstead Teas scour the world looking for the best sources of herbs and spices to use in their teas and where possible only use bio-dynamically grown ingredients- this essentially means ingredients grown with the greatest respect for their environment and in total harmony with nature.

Overall a brand I highly recommend, and with many more interesting sounding flavours on their website it is a brand I look forward to getting better acquainted with over the coming months.

What is your favourite relaxing tea blend?

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Posted in life, review

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