Far Out

The last 12 months have seen me change and push barriers in ways I never thought possible. Mentally and physically I am a very different, almost un-recognisable person (to myself at least) and far more capable than I ever realised.

And yet there was still one barrier I was afraid of breaking. One that time upon time I wished I could just grow the balls and get on with.

That barrier was trousers, or more specifically, trousers that weren’t baggy harems/jeans that cover a multitude of insecurities.

I’ve found blogging more effective than any mirror in building up my confidence and trying new things in terms of clothing. After seeing chinos around on many blogs and admiring how they looked on ALL shapes and sizes, I realised the only thing holding me back was myself and my perceived flaws.
I’ve been home around 6 months now and my body is still very alien to me, and I have major issues with seeing it how it really is… but on Saturday, shopping with Mum a pair of trousers in New Look jumped out at me. In a manner most unlike me, I decided to try them on; as a rule I don’t try things on, I buy only what I know will fit or suit me.
I listened to Mum when she said they looked good, ignored the screaming demons in my head and purchased them.
Today I am wearing them, to work. I am NOT going to change as soon as this post goes up. Nor just before I leave for work.






I’m a big believer in “fake it till you make it” when it comes to confidence. And if I wear these trousers as if I truly believe they look good/don’t make me look like a stuffed sausage then I will (hopefully) start to believe it.

And I’m sorry, for the wordy nature of this post. I tried to get away from the heavier (so to speak) side of things when I came home- wipe the slate clean. But sometimes I have to share what’s on my mind, document triumphs no matter how small they may seen…and if anyone can relate to this, and it has helped in any way, then that’s even better. I don’t feel a need to censor the real me from the blog, people can take it or leave it.

Do you have clothing items that you are fearful of?
How do you go about breaking down those boundaries?


88 comments for “Far Out

  1. Kb

    They suit you so well, you can seriously pull off anything! Loving the wordiness too, great to learn more about you. I’m not fearful of too much at the moment, maybe jumpsuits?

  2. This is a great post – it’s really admirable that you share your thoughts like this πŸ™‚
    The trousers look so great on you and I love them with the blouse! I agree that having a blog can make you a lot more adventurous with your look, although I’m still dubious about anything bodycon!
    Beth @ Baking and Brogues

  3. Laura you look AMAZING in these trousers! I’ve been wanting a pair of trousers and whilst we’re not the same, I battle with a voice in my head telling me I’m too fat to wear them and people will turn their head in disgust at me. I mean, I’m a size 18 I know that I won’t be slim and I’m always happy until it comes to…. trousers. They’re like the devil to me, but this post has inspired me, that I can wear them, and I should ignore that little devil and listen to the angel on my other shoulder (my mum!!) xxxxx

  4. These chinos look fantastic on you! Really good contrast with the floaty blouse too, I love it! I reallyt want a pair of chinos/tapered trousers, but I don’t think they would look good on me, I would deffo look like a stuffed sausage. I live in fear of items that are too clingy and emphasise my stomach xx

  5. I think you look amazing, seriously you have nothing to worry about. I hate anything that shows my stomach! Eugh! Love the fact it’s more wordy so we get to know you better! Have a great day! xo

  6. Lovely post- I wholeheartedly agree with your mum, the trousers look great on you! And fake it til you make it does work.. hopefully you’ll see in time re: these trousers. Really, they look great, and perfect with the blouse. I have a little issue with those sort of trousers, only because I’m short so feel a bit swamped in them.
    A definite triumph! x

  7. aww, i think u look gorgeous in this im kinda jealous , it fits u well ! πŸ˜‰ keep buying more of this! it shows ur figure well babe πŸ˜‰

  8. wow, you look great in trousers!!

    I have a problem in skirts… not because I hate my legs.. in fact I can’t wear mini-skirts cos I’m tall, maxi skirts NEVER work for me and I’m scared of trying the midi… so it’s knee-length or nothing for me…!

  9. You seriously look incredible! I am always a bit wary of maxis, I have one skirt and one dress but am worried about the material swamping me. I still don’t wear jeans either, the last time I did was a year ago for work and I looked awful and they left me with marks where they had rubbed. Trousers yes, jeans no! I agree with you on how blogging can build your confidence, I am unrecognisable to the girl who started blogging all that time ago! I liked the wordiness of this post, apparently so much I left an essay in return!:P

    Maria xxx

  10. You dont have to fake it because you have alrady made it they look amazing on you. I think your really brave and open and I really admire that in you. I cant wear skinny leg jeans as I have short muscley legs and they just look all wrong on me.

  11. The LAST thing you look like is a stuffed sausage!!

    It’s funny because being so tall and slim a lot of people might be thinking what do you have to worry about, but it just shows everyone has their own insecurities I guess.

  12. I have the same thoughts I would never wear those trousers because I feel I have massive thighs and yet people always say I have slim legs! I hate my thighs.

    I also have a thing about showing the tops of my arms it has to be absolutely boiling hot before I won’t wear a cardi and bare the top of my arms.

    I wear skinny jeans and leggings but 99% of the time I wear mini dresses or tunics over them.

    I think we all have body hang ups.

    BTW I think those trousers suit you.


  13. They look amazing on you, honestly they really do.
    I cant wear trousers, skinny jeans yes but trousers no. I have to go up a size in trousers and the fat person inside me, I used to be three stone heavier, just cannot bear to do that. That is why I live in dresses and skirts!As i work in a shop I know that sizing is all wrong, a size 12 and 14 can be the same. I know rationally that its not a big deal but like you said the demon is telling me it is! I am dying for a pair of chinos so I might just bite the bullet and cut the label out haha!

  14. Honestly – they look great on you!
    I love your look today; it’s ideal to wear in office.
    Have a wonderful day!
    Great posting today.

  15. Like you, I also have a fear of trousers and jeans. Pairs of trews from the high street never seem to fit, and just feel all wrong. But I recently bought a pair of designer jeans from a charity shop for Β£20, and they are amazing. I also have a pair of grey sensible trousers from Topman that fit really well, plus have deep pockets. So maybe menswear is the way to go?

  16. you look amazing in those pants darling! love this outfit, and it’s totally office appropriate, too! Stylish lady!

    xxx Charlie
    Enter my Lipstick Giveaway!

  17. You should totally wear trousers!They suit you!You look very chic!I love the colour of the trousers and the choice of the top!Congrats for facing your fear and wearing them!

  18. Oh Laura, I wish you could see what we see. There is not a hint of stuffed sausage! Your legs look amazing – the trousers are really flattering on you.

    And I like the wordy posts – don’t be shy about posting them please.

  19. This is my favourite outfit post of yours so far! Please don’t sensor the real you from your blog – you are lovely!!! xxx

  20. Hi Laura! I dropped what I’m doing – and I’m on a kind of deadline (photos for a print article a friend is doing – ON ME!) when I saw your tweet, because altho I haven’t had time to visit anyone’s blog really, I suddenly realised I haven’t visited you in ages – altho you’re always on my mind.

    First: I love chinos and love the way you look in this outfit, and that blouse is gorgeous with it.

    Second: I’ve thought of you so much recently especially since while I was in Florida, in a freak coincidence I ended up spending the afternoon by the pool – in a swimsuit I might add – with the father of the boy/man who was the reason I started MY food issues as a teenager. And I knew, because I’m fine now and have been for decades, that you would be, too.

    But that said: my place to gain weight has always been my waist, and so while I’m comfortable in my imperfect body, the clothes I can’t wear are 50s silhouettes. It’s not so much that I’m afraid to: I just shouldn’t. Anyway I’d better get back to this little deadline but I am moved to tears by what you wrote in your second to last paragraph.

    You keep documenting these small triumphs, my sweet virtual friend: you are an inspiration and a role model for more people than you’ll ever know.

    Big hug – someday I want to sit down with you, over a coffee and a big piece of cake, and have a good long chat.


  21. I love them, they look FAB on you!!! Really, really suit you πŸ™‚ xx

  22. Honey fear not!


    Throw away those insecurities because you are as stunning in trousers as you are in your pretty dresses.

    It’s been amazing to watch you go from strength to strength and just as polka dot said, you are an inspiration to many others out in blog land.

    Big hugs
    X x x

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  24. Those trousers look fantastic on you! Well done on ignoring the screaming demons in your head (I know it can be so hard). You made the right choice!!


  25. So proud of you Laura, you’ve come so far and your such an inspiration. I can totally relate to you though, i only really wear tights/leggings with the exception of a loose pair of jeans, my biggest clothing fear is trousers. Hopefully one day i’ll find the confidence to wear them too. You look stunning! xx

  26. Jo

    Laura, you look fantastic. Am so proud of you, face the fear and do it anyway, is my motto. And you have, I hope you realise how amazing you are. To go through the things you have and come out a stronger healthier person is so inspiring.
    You inspired me to stop being a food addict emotional binge eater and am now happier and healthier than I’ve been in a long time.

    Repeat after me “I look amazing in these trousers”.

    Hope you have a good day at work.

    Much love and hugs.


  27. i think they look great on you, and you really suit them.

    i know what you mean about being too scared to post things sometimes, i think about things i want to post, and then don’t as i’m not sure i know how they will come across, but sometimes you have to remind yourself who you blog for? definitely you should post all the words you like, esp. if they are going to help you πŸ™‚

    and i get you on the trousers thing, i bought some ‘skinny’ jeans, and know that in reality they are probably too big, around the waist as they gape a bit, but i don’t think i will ever wear them on the blog for a photo, as i can’t get over the fact that i look so huge in them.

  28. This post really touched me, I think all girls are ‘scared’ of some piece of clothing that they think everyone will point and laugh at them if they wore.

    It seems like you’re slowly building up your confidence (you’re drop dead gorge, but we all know it comes from inside) and sharing these small steps will help!

    The trousers are perfect for you, that length is so achingly on trend. The boots and blouse work so well for a day time look. Maybe the next step would be to wear them for an evening out? With heels and a gorgeous top they would look great.


  29. I completely agree with the fake it until you make it with confidence too – all of a sudden you are confident and you’re not sure what you’re faking anymore πŸ™‚

    You’ll get there with the trousers, they look fantastic Laura, really great! Oddly I have the opposite problem, I love trousers, especially jeans – getting into skirts and dresses is a big deal for me!

  30. I had major food, weight and image issues that came completely out of fucking nowhere when I was 21. Before that I never gave a thought to my looks really, I was a happy teenager in that way, so it was unexpected. I dropped outrageous amounts of weight and obsessed over the scale for about 2 years before finally managing to maintain a grip on my problem and now I’m back to reality but it’s still difficult every day and yeah, there are some items of clothing that make it more difficult than others, admittedly.

    You are completely rocking these trousers. Keep wearing them. Wear whatever the hell you like.


  31. Those trousers are absolutely perfect on you, I can understand the fear of wearing something you are not comfortable in, but fear not these trousers look stunning. I think just reading back on all the comments so far really does show how much support you have xx

  32. you have absolutely nothing to worry about when wearing these trousers.
    you have such naturally long toned legs most girls would kill for.
    they look amazing πŸ™‚

  33. Oh dear Laura, You look SO amazing!! I LOVE your trousers and they fit you perfectly! I rally like the colour and the entire outfit looks perfect on you πŸ™‚
    I’ve always been a bit afraid to wear tight dresses, or very bright colours, but with time I think I’ll stop with these fears about clothes. IT’s all about embracing our body and love ourselves*

  34. Bec

    You’ve been incredibly brave – well done for that! And they do suit you very well, you look great πŸ™‚

    I’ve followed your blog for a while and know what you’ve been through. I have huge admiration for the way you’ve embraced recovery and have sustained things since discharge. You’re a real inspiration to me at the moment.

    Funnily enough, I faced similar ‘demons’ today as I put my proper jeans on (ie. not jeggings with an elasticated waist!) for the first time since coming into IP three weeks ago. And like you, I will keep them on all damn day! I might as well get some more wear out of them before I inevitably outgrow them πŸ˜‰

    Thanks for the inspiration xx

  35. Wow! You look amazing in these trousers. No need to be fearful of them x

  36. They look fantastic! The secret is not to over-analyse, lay them on the bed and ignore the image in the mirror. xxx

  37. Anonymous

    Laura, you look FAB on those trousers !!
    Keep wearing them !!

    Caithlin & Eva

  38. Angela

    Laura, you look amazing in those trousers!
    Hopefully you will soon be able to see what we all see πŸ˜‰
    Hope you have a wonderful afternoon.

  39. They are amazing. I love love love this look on you so much. Please be confident x

  40. Anonymous

    They look great!

  41. Zee

    I often read your blog & don’t comment, but I have to say that I think this outfit looks amazing – the trousers fit perfectly and you really suit the colour πŸ™‚ I wish I could rock that trend as well as you do! xx

  42. Congratulations on your new mindset, I’m also a big believer in fake it till you make it. Sometimes there are days when I tell myself over and over again that I am a confident and strong woman even though I feel like Im not. Hearing someone say it (even if its yourself) is what oulls the confidence out. I happen to think that you look absolutely lovely in these trousers and I love the color of your blouse. tres chic!

    Eternally yours,

  43. Sometimes I do have that I put something on and I feel so weird in it, it can totally mess with my day. I have a coat that makes me really depressed so I stopped wearing it. I don’t really have it with all clothes of the same kind, like you have with trousers, but just with some items.

    You really don’t have to worry about those trousers, they look fabulous on you. It might take some getting used to but I am very proud of you for going against those impulses and just went ahead with the trousers. And you might even start to enjoy them;)

  44. oh I definatly dream of wearing clothes that fit me.. jeans..
    i HATE them.. will not buy / try them on…
    nothing fits. everything falls off.. I am scared of growing into them too though. and out of them..
    jeans… just dont work for me πŸ™

    I like the “fake it until you make it” thing.. about confidence.
    those trousers DO look freaking amazing on you babe!! honestly. Super jelous!! <3
    You will work it girl. I know you can πŸ˜‰ xoxoxo

  45. dan

    love them chinos! they look amazing on you xx

  46. They.look.good ! They look amazing on you, I hope you enjoyed your day in them!

  47. Anonymous

    You look fab – you should definitely wear those trousers more! x

  48. I agree: blogging has made me so much more confident as well.
    You look great in trousers. They do really suit you.

  49. Well done! You look great πŸ™‚

  50. Those trousers look amazing on you, definitely do not change out of them!

    I have an issue with trousers too, mainly because I am short, and trousers normally make me look more short, because they are always too long!

  51. These look AMAZING on you! Really really do. Last picture- gorgeous! x

  52. D.

    They really look good on you, don’t worry!

  53. They look lovely on you! I have a pair similar if not the same from New Look, however I feel I really don’t suit them so they end up being my comfy trousers!

  54. I hope you didn’t change! Those trousers are lush, you’re totally rocking them. An that top is beautiful

  55. I totally understand what you mean with whole perception bit. Isn’t it so bizarre how we can look in the mirror and see something awful when in reality everyone else around us thinks we are so beautiful?

    That is clearly the case with you and these pants. You look STUNNING in them. Please believe me when I say that if I looked like you in pants I would wear them ALL THE TIME. You look so lovely and slender and perfect in them! They fit you like a glove!

    Oh, and I must say you are gorgeous in these photos. You really do have the prettiest face. Have you considered modeling??

  56. Girl, those trousers look AMAZING ON YOU!!! I have short chubby legs and normally never wear trousers but Im getting over it now – life is too short!

  57. well done! those chinos look amazingly good, i’ve been thinking of getting a pair myself for quite some time now.

  58. great post Laura, you look fab, the trousers really suit you πŸ™‚

  59. Bless you~continue to renew your mind, beautiful!
    ps: those boots are fab too!!

  60. i think you look great in trousers my dear!! your legs look great! πŸ™‚ x

  61. well done you! And you look amazing in those trousars!!! love the blouse too πŸ™‚

  62. You look FAB! I know what you mean by reading blogs making you try new things that you would think look terrible on you because you’re not a supermodel – it’s so good being able to see REAL clothes on REAL people of all shapes and sizes! I hope this is the start of a lovely relationship for you and trousers πŸ˜‰

  63. Those look really great! I am completely opposite and find myself physically unable to wear skirts and dresses!

  64. You look gorgeous in that outfit! I have an issue with dresses, i wish I could wear them more, or just generally feel ok wearing them – I get all self concious and feel they don’t suit me. But i’m throwing myself into the deep end – I found a dress in New Look that looks half decent on me so i’m going with it!

  65. Ilike the stlye of the trousers you have selected. they look really good from the side.

    Something i wont wear are blue denims. Or trousers/ jeans that arent black i just think my thighs and legs look too big in things that arent black

  66. I think you look really great in them and I commend you for being brave and not only buying them but for posting this. You are one really awesome and STRONG person.

  67. :Β£ i have a probraly with low cut thingsg buts thats it and i love your blouse! the trousers look great πŸ™‚

    /reply/ sharpie stays on and comes off with usual nail polish. I haven’t tired putting sharpie straight onto my nailso if you just draw on with it without a coat of nail polish it might stain πŸ™ i hope ive helped!

  68. Laura you should be so damn proud of yourself. Personally, I think you look incredible in these trousers, they’re the perfect fit – show off your gorgeous legs, and go perfectly with those epic shoes! But that’s irrelevant compared to the fact that you’ve been brave enough to break those boundaries, and i know that’s such a massive step – bravo m’dear, bravo πŸ™‚ xxx

  69. Rock those trousers! You look amazing in ’em.

    I have a small fear of pencil skirts. I love the way they look, but I fear my hips are too wide to pull them off. πŸ™

  70. you look great! I just bought some chinos too, and I can’t wait to wear them! Probably tomorrow πŸ˜‰

    Have a wonderful Friday!

  71. i love this outfit, especially the pants! keep it up!

  72. Definitely no need to apologise for a wordy post. For me this is what I think is good about blogs, people can share what they are feeling or what is happening for them. It makes it more personal.

    Your mam is definitely right thought. The chinos look great on you. Hopefully you will see that in time.


  73. Hurrah! They look great – congratulations. I love trousers, been thinking about the Zara brights for a while…

  74. I think you look brill. I’m a massive fan of the front tuck blouse too, I think it sort of adds definition without having to tuck it in the whole way round which always annoys me after a whole day of tucking and re-tucking.
    Keep faking it because you will make it!


  75. I think you look AMAZING!!!!!

    β™₯ Leia

  76. Actually I don’t like these sort of trousers. But this doesn’t mean you can’t wear them. It’s just a personal thing, I just like skinny jeans better.

    But don’t ever doubt that you can wear trousers. Your body is perfect to wear everything you like to. Don’t be ashamed of it. I know that it’s hard to accept your new body, it’ll take a lot of time to get used to it and even more time to learn loving it.

    I can just imagine how hard this is for you.
    When I was 14 I nearly was going for an eating disorder because I thought I was too fat (which really was true at the time I started my diet). But instead of stopping the diet I barely was eating anything and lost a lot of weight. I really was skinny at that time. Not that skinny that you could have said I was ill, but far too skinny for my age and body hight.
    Fortunately my parents could stop me from that madness. Slowly I started eating normally again, even if it was a real pain for me to eat. Somehow I managed it even if I hated myself for eating so much and for gaining weight.
    When I was back to a normal weight I hated my body even though it looked beautiful from today’s view. I had to learn loving my body again. It was hard but I managed it. Today I’m about 10kg heavier than I was back then (means about 25kg heavier than I was at my skinniest times).
    I know that my body’s nothing near perfect, but nonetheless I’m loving it.
    It took me a long time to feel comfortable with myself, but it feels so much better than just hating your body.
    Of course there are times when I think I’m too fat, but I think that’s normal. In the last months I lost about 6kg, because I wasn’t feeling comfortable anymore. But I didn’t stop eating, I just left out all the sweets and reduced the size of my meals. But now I’m feeling comfortable again so there’s no need for me to lose more weight.

    what I am trying to say is:
    Learn to love your body. There’s nothing you have to be ashamed of because you really look wonderful. Take your time to get to know your new body and slowly learn to feel comfortable with it. I know you can do this for you’re a really strong person. Don’t give up, you can do it!
    Go and try on everything you like – I’m sure you look great in it. I’d really like to see you wearing skinny jeans someday, that’ll suit you very well.
    Of course you don’t have to wear anything you don’t feel comfortable with.
    But wearing those trousers is a great step to learn accepting your body.
    Don’t ever give up, you’ll make it!

    oh and there are of course clothing that I was fearful of – I hated dresses and skirts because I thought my legs were terrible. But then I found a really cute skirt and I forced myself to wear it. It was a strange feeling wearing it but I got so much compliments for it that I somehow had to wear it over and over again.
    Nowadays I own a lot of skirts and dresses and I love wearing them. I even like them better than my jeans. But it took me long to realize that skirts and dresses suit me well.
    But it was worth every struggle with myself πŸ™‚

  77. fake it deffo. I am the same (get stuck into the comfort groove of skirts, and conversely get stuck with trousers and jeans sometimes!)

  78. You look amazing. Those trousers are lovely and really suit you. You should definitely feel confident, you 100% pull them off! xx

  79. Mat

    that style of trouser really suits you i think. erm fearful, i don’t think so you know. i do fear having to wear a shocking traditional wedding suit though. ain’t going to happen

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  81. Hey, I really like your blog and I really admire your honesty! That’s what draws me to read particular blogs, when I come across them (found yours when googling for a daisy dress!)- when there is true heart, honesty, bravery (and of course lovely, pretty clothes!)and sincerity behind them! This comes across in all your posts. Anyway,those trousers look lovely,great shape, nice colour too, especially with lovely baby-blue floaty blouse- well done for saying No to the feelings of ‘I can’t do this!’
    I don’t like wearing anything body-con, pencil skirts that fit to the bottom. Having a petite top-half, in comparison to (not very much bigger) bottom-half and some horrid guy who was my friend in Indonesia making jokes about it.
    Oh and Shoulder pads (shudder….)

  82. love the blouse. over the years i’ve steered clear of fitted tops. was just talking about this in a recent post about how our bodies and/or perception changes and influences our style.


  83. The trousers look great on you! But then you seem to suit ever single type/cut/shape of clothing. I think you could wear a potato sack and still look amazing! You always come across as so confident in your outfit posts, I’m jealous of your ability to pose! I still feel uncomfortable most of the time in outfit posts, even though my blog is 3 1/2 years old!

  84. babes these are the perfect trousers this spring and if they don’t look good on u then I don’t know who they would look good on. You look fantastic.

  85. S_S

    Lady, you never cease to maazing me with your senese of styling and looks. You look flipping god damn amazing in trousers and dont ever be afraid of wearing them – you look knock out!!!! as for me, I too, WILL ONT wear trousers often but inspired by you… I will! xxxx