Things I’ve been Living in Lately

When it comes to blogging lately, I either seem to have loads of words raring to go, but no images to go with them, or, in this case, I have plenty of images good to go but when it comes to writing I have nothing.

That got me thinking back to the early days, when I was literally posting what I wore on a daily basis and very little else. I don’t know when it came about that I thought I couldn’t post without some long ramble to go alongside it, so I’m trying to go back to basics a bit more. Snap some photos of an outfit I like, and simply just share that.

The dress in this post is from ASOS and I love it. Gingham, smock style, flattering with an awesome collar. It’s the one thing I bought in the Black Friday sales and it’s my go-to on the weekend days I bother to get dressed, or sometimes I smarten it up a bit for work.
My DM boots have become my footwear of choice for out of work, I ignored them for a little while (goodness knows why) but now they are definitely the favoured boots of the season. They match perfectly with my Barbour bobble hat; a gift from Bob after a procedure, and it has been more daily since I got it in November.
The teddy fleece aviator style jacket was an impulse buy from New Look in the Autumn and I really need to make sure I wear it a bit more than I currently do.

Trying to find places to take photos these days is a challenge. The lighting in our house, and the layout makes it near impossible, and in the depths of winter our garden just looks a bit of a mess. Our current location of choice is the end of the garage block on our street- so long as no neighbours are about to see, as I can’t deal with attention!

I hope lockdown 3.0 is going as ok as can be for people. Like with the previous 2, not a lot has changed for me as I’m still in work full time so leaving the house on a daily basis. There is a lot going on at the moment so an excuse to stay in for quieter weekends is actually kind of welcome, but I am missing my friends and family terribly and I do feel for those who live alone.

What’s new (pussycat?)

It’s been a while since I sat down (well, actually I’m kind of sprawled) to write a blog post just for the sake of writing one. I think the last time was early September and so much has changed since then, it’s insane. I’m still trying to reconcile it all in my mind, but for the most part life is grand and that’s probably why I’m finding myself emerging from my funk and wanting to do a little update.

That’s not the sole reason for this post though, the other reason is this rather magnificent jumper I purchased from ASOS Marketplace…isn’t it a beauty? I’m actually obsessed with it. The cats remind me of Pablo, and the attention to details just make me smile so much. Cats everywhere! Including on the collar. It couldn’t be more perfect for me.
Would it be too extreme to start a collection of vintage cat sweaters? I wonder if Bob would still want to marry me if I did start one…

The wedding is very much back on my mind, after a little while of not feeling very motivated to plan anything due to the ongoing uncertainty and threat of Covid-19. With the hope of a vaccine I feel a little more positive things can go ahead as planned so we’ve started working out what needs doing now and what we really can leave until the last minute. I’m allowing myself to get excited again, although I am so impatient as well, I just want to be a wife now please!

The other excitement going on right now is that shortly after my last update post we found that I had reached the required weight for the PGD/IVF referral to go ahead. Things have moved incredibly quickly and I now have a fridge full of injections ready to go. Nothing is set in stone just yet but we are likely to start this very soon. I won’t be sharing an awful lot of the process, at least not until there is a baby in my arms (however long that may take) but I just thought I’d let anyone interested know that this is where we’re at.

It’s been a turbulent year so us (and everyone else!) with some crushing blows along the way, made much worse for the global pandemic. But with that there has been some amazing highs and personal accomplishments. I honestly can’t believe we’re at this stage, and this is my life now.

Once upon a time I had written off the chance of finding love, getting married and starting a family. Now I’m well on the way to ticking off all three. I’m not brave enough (or stupid enough) to say I’m fully recovered, and some days are still an uphill battle, but I can hand on heart say I am the most “normal”, happy and healthy that I have ever been and I am just so grateful to have made it this far and for the opportunities I have been given. Hopefully one day I won’t even need to write this kind of paragraph as it will be all but a distant memory.

Well done if you’ve made it to the end of this post, I don’t blame you if you’ve skipped to the end and marvelled in the wonder of the sweater instead.

TLDR: awesome jumper, happy life, grateful rambling.

Until next time…

Life Lately- a new kind of normal?

Dress: Pull and Bear | Shoes: Primark

I’m giving up on making promises of regular blog posts, whilst I still enjoy having and updating this space on the internet I have come to realise I don’t need it as much as I used to. Back when I started it, when I was in the deepest, darkest days of my life, through the rollercoaster few years right up until I met Bob this place was my link to the world, my place where I could be heard and connect with people. It got me through some really tough times and presented me with some amazing opportunities. I’m sad in some ways that I no longer have the time and headspace to keep up with daily, or even weekly posts, yet happy to be letting go, to finally be in that place where “real life” is enough. I’m not giving up completely, there is always going to be the regular features as well as hopefully some wedding related posts, and looking forward, hopefully some family ones too. Even if that wasn’t the case I think I’d be stepping back now anyway, the blogging world has changed beyond recognition and I no longer feel I have a place in the centre of it (and I’m 100% ok with that).

Life lately has been chaotic and confusing for everyone and I’m definitely feeling it more now than ever. During the peak of Covid-19 I was so frantically busy and exhausted from work that I didn’t really register how much life had changed for me- and actually, it didn’t really change that much. I worked 9-5, shopped for essentials when I had to, so whilst I did have lockdown to contend with and the isolation from friends and loved ones I did at least have routine.

As restrictions ease I find it’s hitting me more now. Work has slowed right down. We can go about our daily business with a little more freedom. I’ve been on a socially distanced picnic with friends, I can see my family, I’ve had my nails done with hair to follow and Bob and I are planning a camping trip in a couple of weeks. With all of this has come a greater feeling of unease. Is this the right thing? Should I be going out/away. Do I really need to leave the house? I’m making the most of the freedom but it isn’t half causing some conflict!

Conflict aside, I’m happy. Ridiculously happy in a way I thought I never could be. I’m the healthiest mentally and physically that I have been in my entire adult life. I’m planning my wedding to my absolute soul mate (432 days to go!) and I have a job I enjoy, a roof over my head and an all round happy and contended and comfortable life- for which I am eternally grateful.

I’m not sure what the point of this post is other than to share some photos of a pretty dress, our somewhat more up together garden (like many, lockdown has given us a drive to take pride in our garden!) and explain, largely to myself why I find myself blogging less and less. I still want to do it, but on my terms with no pressure. I already feel more at ease with it all having written this post, so despite being a disjointed tangle of words it has served some kind of purpose.

Reasons to smile

Dress: Wednesday’s Girl at ASOS (aff. link) | Shoes: c/o Ego shoes a couple of years ago

It’s been a funny couple of weeks, like a lot of people I haven’t really been feeling like myself and I think that finally the impact of Covid-19, lockdown and finding a work-life balance has taken hold.
From disturbed sleep to general anxiety and irritability, it’s been a stressful time trying to pinpoint what’s wrong- after a while I gave up trying to work out why and just focused on getting through.
Bob and I took these photos just before the dip in my mood happened, taking a Saturday morning stroll to our new favourite photo spot (and when I say new favourite, I mean our only photo spot right now!) and I thought it would be good to share both the photos and five things that are making me smile right now- because taking stock of what’s important and what makes you happy is one of the biggest boosts you can give yourself.

  1. Wedding! As of today I have been engaged to Bob for an entire year and wedding excitement is building. It’s 475 days until we say “I do” and I’m so impatient. Wedding planning is taking shape- we’ve got the venue, the photographer, a vague idea of colour scheme and I’ve just booked some appointments to try on dresses in September- I have no idea what I want but I’m looking forward to dressing up! I honestly cannot wait to marry Bob, although I may be driving him slightly mad with all the wedding chat.
  2. Sunshine: I always find everything easier to deal with when the sun is shining and thankfully over the last couple of weeks we have had some glorious days. Bob and I have spent a lot of time outside getting our garden in shape and I’m loving having an outside space to relax. We’ve got some runner beans and cucumbers growing and I really hope to get a good haul from both (but I seem to have green thumbs so we’ll see!)
  3. Baking: Baking is my therapy and like many others during lockdown I’ve fully embraced it. Cookies seem to be my current “thing” and I’ve made some absolute winners. It’s got to the point now where people are asking me NOT to bake as they are all trying to lose the lockdown weight gain, but I will not be deterred.
  4. Pablo: Our little furry fiend certainly keeps us on our toes with his talent for falling off of window sills in the early hours and his particular quirks around food (he will only eat out of a certain blue bowl!) He has grown up to be such a mummy’s boy and loves to cuddle especially when I get home from work, it’s the best remedy to a stressful day.
  5. Seeing People: After weeks and weeks of not being able to see family and friends it’s such a relief to now be able to spend time with them, even if it is from a 2 metre distance. Yesterday we spent a glorious hour with my parents in their garden, and I’ve enjoyed some visits to my Grandad too when I have dropped off his shopping. I’m super excited for a socially distanced catch up with my best friend this coming week… there’s nothing like time with loved ones to lift your spirits.

Has anyone else found things a bit tricky over the last few weeks? Feel free to list your own reasons to smile in the comments, it helps, trust me!

Feline Fine

Cat Print Dress: Joy

Excuse the super cheesy title, but when a post contains so much cat related goodness there really is little else it could have been.

Two weeks ago it was my birthday, and I celebrated turning the grand old age of 33 in lockdown, just like many others have done and will continue to do.
It was a strange birthday, that much is for sure, but in it’s own way it was lovely. Spent with Bob, in my pjs, speaking to family and friends on the phone or by the dreaded video call. We drank gin and Bob cooked my favourite dinner and that was that. I’d taken the day off work anyway and decided to keep it. Maybe I’ll celebrate again later in the year, but maybe I won’t; once you get past a certain age birthdays really become much less of a big deal!

I hit the kitty jackpot when it came to gifts. Bob bought me this incredible geo-cat print dress from Joy which has been on my wish list since it first landed on their website. It truly is a dress of dreams, not only has it got the coolest print ever (fact), but it also makes me feel good when I wear it, which right now is no mean feat.

We’re both off work this week as we were meant to be up in Scotland on a big family holiday- with Bob’s mum, his brother and his other half, his cousins, aunts, uncles and friends, but alas that wasn’t to be but we decided we’d have the week at home anyway. We’ve both been working full time throughout lockdown, and I for one was definitely very ready for a break from dealing with Covid-19 related chaos on a daily basis. Obviously we don’t have plans to do much, but we’ve done some local walks and I’m in the process of up-cycling a bird table.

I hesitated over posting this photo as I’m really struggling with various body image woes at the moment and currently my face is one of my “I can’t stand it” targets for reasons I don’t even think I can begin to rationalise…
But here it is anyway, because I wanted to share another cat themed birthday gift, this time from my lovely mother in law to be.

This is another item that has been on my wish list from the second it launched- this adorable tiny kittens necklace from Amanda Coleman jewellery. This so perfectly fits my more minimal taste in jewellery that I’ve developed as I’ve got older, whilst remaining quirky (and feline) enough to reflect my style.

I hope everyone is staying safe (and alert?!) and finding ways to keep themselves amused.
I’m not going to make any real promises but I do feel like I might be starting to love the idea of blogging again, so maybe, just maybe there will be more frequent posting for the next little while (but like I said, no promises!)