moving on up

 Primark Jumper, Motel jeans, Georgia Rose boots (c/o Sarenza)
I finally remembered I had these boots after searching for something to wear on my feet to London, it’s a bit of a squish getting my poorly foot in to them but they make a change!
This isn’t really an outfit post as such, I wore these jeans for all of 15 minutes before realising I’ve finally gained enough weight to almost outgrow an item of clothing…so off they came, and on to the “for sale” pile where they have already found a worthy new owner and I shall be investing in something that fits my new figure once the rest of the weight has gone on.

It’s hard, to remain so positive about a changing body when mostly people see weight gain as a negative thing. It’s harder still when you are trying to reverse ten years of ingrained behaviours for the last time; no more going back and forth in recovery, this is the final push. I’ve never been so motivated or so excited for life. I can’t explain what’s changed, I guess growing up and the tragic events of this year have given me that final *ping* in my head that I needed to actually do this…as anyone recovering from anything knows, you can only do it for real when it’s for yourself first and foremost. Negative/saddened tweets aside, I am enjoying this journey and keep remindnig myself that sometimes it’s ok to go against the grain, sometimes weight gain for health reasons is needed and there is nothing wrong with that. Life is too damn short to to keep listening to that evil little voice in my head. This is time for the real me, for Laura to shine.

Sorry for getting so personal in this post, I’m probably a chronic over-sharer and wonder if sometimes I give too much away and that the world knows far too much about me. I guess I wanted to get out there, again, what I am doing. Soften the blow of my changing shape perhaps; or maybe I’m just re-affirming it to myself what I have achieved and have yet to achieve. This blog has been a real documentation of my journey especially over the last two turbulent years, and although it may seem otherwise when I do sponsored posts and reviews this blog is for me, myself and I primarily. It still blows me away that so many people read/follow/want to work with me, I’m just a girl from a town nobody has ever heard of who can’t compare to 99% of bloggers out there style and interest-factor wise (who is also chronically insecure). For someone once so camera phobic and painfully shy I’d go so far to say as this blog has proven life changing.

I’ll leave you with this photo of Mae, a peace offering, and I promise not to take offense if you skipped over the lengthy text of this post.

Happy Friday! Any fabulous weekend plans? I’ll be back to my usual self tomorrow.


P.S. sorry for the appalling writing style in this post, as ever my blogging is done early morning and as each post gets published I doubt my writing ability more and more, oops!

31 comments for “moving on up

  1. I admire your honesty and spirit. It is true that the willingness to change and the motivation to succeed can only come from within. And why not share that on this blog? It’s clear that this has been a part of the process.
    Well done for getting this far and Laura, you already shine x

  2. i am so happy for not just for the weight gain but for having that light bulb moment, you really deserve to recovery and get back to being the real you.
    i love the outfit that jumper looks so cosy and warm 🙂 x

  3. Everyone is willing you to get healthy, so glad that you’re really after doing it for you.
    Stay strong my dear <3

  4. You are amazing <3 You're so right that recovery can't happen until the time is right for you.

    Also I’m kind of jealous that you’ll get to buy a whole new wardrobe! xx

  5. You look amazing, that feeling of being healthy is the best in the world! xoxo

  6. Your determination is amazing, and it’s great to see how you’re looking healthier in each post. Ps, I think you may need to invest in a new pair of leopard print jeans – you can pull them off stylewise!

  7. your boots re super cute and u look amazing!

  8. I’m so proud of you! I’ve been in recovery for 4 years now, it’s been a rocky road but I can now say i’m happy and embracing healthy eating habits. It takes so long for the disordered thoughts to go away, but they do! I promise! It’s worth all the struggles <3

  9. I know I have said this many times but it bears repeating, you are an amazing person who has coped with a HELL of a lot and come out stronger. You are an inspiration to me and many others, thank you for your honesty.

    Lots of love,

    Maria xxx

  10. Like everyone else I think you’re amazing! It’s easy to start on a journey but by god it’s hard to keep it up, and you are doing just that. The goal in mind couldn’t be a better one, to live a full healthy happy life.
    Keep up the good work lovely lady you are a star! xXx

  11. I have been away from the blogosphere for a few weeks feeling sorry for myself and I have to say Laura, you are looking great, there is a real glow about you.
    No exciting plans this weekend, just getting on the christmas shopping trail – my bank account is gonna hate me!


    Fashion, Well Done

  12. I love that jumper! I’m so glad to hear things are changing and you are reaching your goals. I have always believed in you and the woman you have grown into is so beautiful and stronger than you realise xxx

  13. Lucy

    Recovery is sooooooo worth it, I promise 😉

    Lucy (and bump) xxc

  14. Oh lovie, it’s so lovely to hear your positivity. It’s funny how we have to get to a stage where we’re just ‘ready’ to really go for it, even after years and years of being ill and having that chance at any time. Still baffles me how it works that way! Of course everyday is still a battle and I’m not saying your body image problems will go away (if ever..) as they haven’t for me…but I can definitely 100% tell you that recovery is worth it. The feeling of being free is like nothing else and those body image problems, whilst there, don’t stop me from living life to the full and being happy. You’re still so tiny! I can remember throughout my whole recovery I felt ‘fat’ and looking back I can now see what everyone was talking about when they said I was ‘still tiny’. You will see the same when you get there and be thankful for the place that your head will be at 🙂

  15. You’re looking fab girl and those boots are lustable!!
    Kirsten x

  16. and you do shine! it can be difficult to change behaviours but I am sure it will be worth it. So glad you are feeling positive.

  17. awww how cute is Mae.

    Love that jumper x

  18. Hey Laura! Stay positive your looking great honestly, and your doing so well! I am loving those boots and the jumper is really cute. I am looking for some fall pieces at the moment too!

    Daisy Dayz
    Enter my giveaway to win designer shades

  19. As someone else who has always been camera phobic and shy, I can relate to you saying writing a blog has helped you a lot. I’m only just starting a blog but I feel like it is making me think things through much more clearly. Not just writing it but reading other bloggers daily too. You look great and you sound like you’re doing really well. xx

  20. Mat

    pretty cool jumper that

  21. What an amazing post and you have no reason to apologise for content or style.

    In all that you have shared you had given many young (and old) girls the strength to battle an illness so often people refuse to talk about.

    As women we are never happy with our looks. Be it we see our selves as too fat, too skinny, big nose, small boob….. The list is endless, yet we are all truly beautiful if we only choose to see it.

    Keep on moving forward, you are doing incredible. And remember you have so much support out in blog land.

    Huge hugs

    X x

  22. It’s so good to see you feeling positive about the changing, I can’t even imagine how hard it must be for you on this journey but I know that you will come out stronger & healthier!

  23. I am so happy to hear your positivity shining through in this post Laura. You look fantastic and I know you can achieve anything! Keep going missus xx

  24. <3

    also, you have awesome style. Don’t put yourself down missus!

  25. Best wishes for positive thinking & the strength to get through negative times 🙂

  26. Anonymous

    Awww i am so so happy that you are really trying in recovery for your sake…it truly is the only way it works out (for 99% people!). You are a real inspiration, and i have so much respect for your honesty. I think when you have blog such as yours is, as solid as yours is, having these honest posts make you even more real and relatable as a human being,hehe,and not just this amazing women on the internet!! One thing though and this is in no no way to make your efforts seem any less, b/c it is not intended in that way, but i know when i was recovering b/c i was looking “better” in comparison to looking very unwell- as in your case…the “looking well/better” does NOT mean your well or better,its a comparison huni to looking extremely unwell. i just wanted to say that because i know i thought “well if they think i look “well/better/health/healthier” i obviously dont need to gain anymore weight etc etc-all those thoughts, when that was far from reality. In your pics, especially here, from a weight point of view you look very unwell, im sorry, i do not wish to offend i really dont, but you do look healthier in yourself, like more life in you, in your eyes and skin, if that makes anyyy sense!! im proud of you, i hope your proud too 🙂 its a long process, but you can make it 🙂 Just remember that when people tell you all the positive things related to image they are 1-not necessarily talking size/shape but clothes/beauty/hair/prettiness etc and 2- If they are talking about size/shape etc it is in relation to you being very unwell and a comparison to that..not that you actually ARE healthy. Im sorry i really wanted to say that to you b/c it was such a huge thing when i attempted recovery. I hope you dont feel ive put down your recovery in anyway because you are an inspiration, really beautiful, wonderful fashion taste, creative and clearly strong and you should give yourself a massive high five. You deserve happiness and health. much love x

  27. Anonymous

    Oh Laura! You’re so open in your posts – I could never do that. Only I wish I could but I guess that’s me all over (always keeping my feelings inside). I can’t believe you’ve found a new owner for my favourite-Laura-leopard-jeans-that-make-her-look-like-a-super-hot-model!! But it’s a great move as you won’t have to feel like you need to stay slim in order to fit into them.

    I personally think you are one of the most stunning girls I’ve ever seen. I’m not mean or anything but I don’t think that of many girls. If I saw you I would think you we’re a model, but seeing as you aren’t, I do feel that you are a little on the slim side and should carry on with your gain weight – as hard as it may be. But at the end of the day, whether you are fat or skinny, if YOU are happy with it then what everyone else says shouldn’t bother you at all. And if you do get to a point where you are happy with your weight and people’s comments bother you, then you don’t love yourself enough! You can do it Laura, you’ve overcome a stressful year (with your nan passing and all that) so you can do anything you want! Don’t forget you have a huge fan base of bloggers who adore you for who you are!

    Little about me… I have been trying to put on weight for years after I dropped from a healthy 10 to verging on 6 because I thought bigger was better (or everyone else did) but I can honestly say I have grown to love my size the way it is – even if I have lost some of my curves. I always thought i was happy having ‘healthy thighs’ but really it was a boy that liked it more. Never again do i want to do anything for a boy or feel rubbish because of them!! Anyway that was a while back. As for today, people tell me I’ve lost weight all the time and I just reply with ‘thank you’ because I’m truly happy with the way I look and it’s now a compliment! But then they think I’m some crazy skinny girl that doesn’t eat… Seriously, get a life I say.

    PS. You are SO not camera shy!!

    Love, N x

  28. Amazingly happy to hear you excited for life, and never a truer word spoken- whatever it is, you have to want to overcome it, and overcome it for yourself first. Bloody love you!