I remember sitting down to write this kind of post last year and feeling an overwhelming sense of sadness about how the year had turned out. Sure there were plenty of good things, but also some so sad I wasn’t sure I’d ever get over them. I vowed I’d make 2013 work out better for me, to stop dwelling on the past and what could have been and focus on the here and now. Instead of letting the death of my Nan, and of Lisa drag me down I decided to push forwards and achieve what they had always wanted for me- health and happiness. I don’t think I quite believed I’d get there, it’s where I’ve always fallen short before. But here I am, on New Years Day 2014 healthier and happier than I have ever been.
In January 2013 I started to dabble in online dating. I wasn’t serious about it, more curious and wishing to take the piss a bit. I started messaging with a guy who had a similar take on it and eventually, after putting him off a couple of times we met for a coffee in March.
The guy was Ben. We’ve been together 9 months today and I still can’t believe my luck in meeting someone so perfect for me.
We laugh a lot, talk even more and he’s been there for me every step of the way in my eating disorder recovery, going above and beyond to make sure I don’t give up. He’s a little bit silly, ever so funny and a incredibly talented musician. 2013 wasn’t the kindest of years to him but he never stopped smiling and I am confident that this year things will change for him in the most positive of ways. I even forgive him for being a Leicester City fan (just).
Other highlights of the year included Spain, part 2 where Ellie and I spent almost two whole weeks basking in the sunshine and soaking up the culture. I thought our first holiday was brilliant but this just trumped it. We saw, experienced and tasted so much more and I came back feeling motivated and excited by all life had to offer.
In the time since I’ve been back I’ve devoted myself entirely to recovering from anorexia once and for all. Without professional input but with unwavering support from my family and friends I’ve climbed my way to a healthy body and I’m nearing my final goal weight now. For the first time ever this feels 100 percent right.
It doesn’t stop there though, once I’m there, instead of letting things drift as I have before I’m going to nurture my body, build up my fitness, feed it the right foods and most importantly stop questioning if it’s right for me. Stop striving for just a few pounds lighter or a clothes size smaller. If the last year has taught me anything it’s that there is so much more to life than numbers. My head has never felt so free in the 11 and a half years since I first got ill and I have never been so damn happy or secure in myself. This is the last time I’ll ever have to go through the battle of recovery. I refuse to let this be my life any more. It’s time, at the grand old age of 26 to finally let myself just be who I am.
It’s been a long hard slog but it’s made me who I am today. A person I am proud to be.
Work has continued to be fulfilling and satisfying. I was made a permanent member of the team this year and when a vacancy came up I was given regular clinical shifts too. I love my colleagues and my patients. It might get stressful at times but I always finish my working day feeling like I’ve made a difference to someone is some way.
I’ve finally found my career path and it wasn’t something I’d ever considered before. Next year I hope to further my qualifications and continue to progress.
(introducing my Grandad)
Regretfully I haven’t spent as much time with my old school friends as I’d have liked to in the last year and that’s something I want to change. Trudi and I remain best friends and I am forever in her debt for everything she has done for me.
I’m closer than ever to my parents and to my Grandad; my continual cheerleaders who have continued to nurture and guide me. I won’t ever take my family or friends for granted and I know how lucky I am to be so close to them and have them nearby. I’d like to see more of my brother, it’s hard with us both working and him living in Leeds but some way or another I will make sure it happens.
We also welcomed my cousin’s little boy in to the world this year- Noah James. He’s bought joy to so many and helped heal emotional wounds.
I’m proud of you Soph, for raising such a gorgeous little monkey.
Mae still makes me laugh every day. Her current obsession is the bathroom. Hiding the shower puff and pulling off the toilet roll like a feline Andrex Puppy. I’m hoping she grows out of that phase but continues to stay her quirky self.
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post. It lacks direction, unlike most round ups I have seen. I think I just wanted to get some thoughts out there really, as a reminder to myself. I haven’t written about blogging but needless to say I still love it. I’ve met more amazing and talented people and I’ve been presented with opportunities that I could never have predicted. I will never take the freebies and other perks for granted. Blogging is something I do for me. To help express myself and grow my confidence. To meet other people. The rest is really the most amazing plus and if it was all taken away tomorrow I’d still have a blog I’m happy with and proud of and I hope to improve it further and meet more people in the year ahead.
(As a side note, I must make more of a social effort. I haven’t been out as much as I’d like this year).
I’m not making resolutions for 2014, but I’m starting it as I mean to go out.
Healthy, Happy,Determined and very much in love. I suppose that is my resolution. But a vague one. One that I can’t forget about or say I didn’t keep.
I entered 2013 on crutches and I’m ending it with a knackered back still.
I promise no more injuries or illness in 12 months time and NO A&E dashes this year. I always was the accident prone one. That’s another mini goal right there.
And my wish for you all? You wonderful, loyal readers who always are there in my times of need (or my random twitter rants)
Well
I just want you to be happy with whatever you do and wherever you are. I’m looking forward to another year of getting to know you and following your adventures.
Whatever life throws at you, don’t let it break you.
xxx
As a longtime follower of yours I am so proud of everything you have achieved last year. Best wishes for a brilliant 2014 to you send Ben x
Happy new year lovely, to echo Sophie, I am so pleased for you and so proud of how far you have come this last year, 2014 will be even better xxxxxx
Well done on all you’ve achieved. Here’s to a happy and healthy 2014. All the best, you deserve it! Xx
Congrats with everything, Laura! You and Ben are adorable x
http://startanewstartafresh.blogspot.co.uk/
Laura, this is by far your best post I’ve read to date. So much positivity, honesty and achievement and so much of you in there. God bless you for all you’ve achieved. And now, no more accidents please!!! Oh and Ben music vlog please!!!! And bike update!! X
Its amazing to read how much positivity you have for striving to overcome your anorexia, its a long hard journey, but you seem like you are doing it in a fabulous way, I wish you all the best. I used to read your blog all of the time, however I gave up blogging for a while, although I have decided to come back to it now Take care
Jess x
What a wonderful post to start the New Year!
Congratulations on all you have achieved Laura, you should be so proud & it’s such a lovely story of how you and Ben met; shows you things really do happen for a reason <3 Wishing you all the best for 2014, sounds like you have a wonderful mix of friends, family and Ben and here's to an even better year for you xo
Sophie | soinspo
Aw Laura – what a lovely year you have had. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I am proud of you!
Corinne x
Such a lovely post – a very Happy New Year to you! So glad to hear you’re happy and I hope 2014 continues to be just as good, if not more so xx
You. Are. Amazing.
Here’s to a fabulous 2014 x
You should be so proud of what you’ve achieved this year, I love your blog and can’t wait to see which directions you take it in in 2014 🙂 xx
There are no words to explain how proud I am of you right now. I’ve followed your journey for so long, I literally cry with happiness when I read this. I know how hard it can be because I struggle with the same things. I wish you the very best for the new year.
You deserve every pieces of happiness you find and it’s so great to follow your life through blogging – you were one of the first blogs I began to regularly read and still do! Plus your kitty is just so adorable – she looks pleased with herself in that photograph!
Have an amazing 2014!
Love your blog, can’t wait to see more in 2014!
http://www.studdedkisses.co.uk
You are such an inspiration Laura! I’ve been humbled by your journey, saddened by your struggles and amazed and delighted at your progress. I hope soon anorexia will be a permanent thing of the past – a life gone by. I hope you’ll never have to go through that torment again. You look absolutely stunning. Keep striving for better, keep being kind to yourself and continue on your recovery journey. I have every faith that you can and will beat this for good. All the best to you and Ben for 2014!
Happy new year Laura! You should be SO proud of yourself, you’ve achieved so much this year and it’s really inspirational. Hope 2014 is even better for you (and injury free!) xxx
A huge happy new year lovely Laura, you deserve every single success. It’s a ‘Laura’ year I can tell 🙂 xx
This post definitely made me well up 🙂 Congratulations on such a good year, may 2014 be even better with all the positives and less of the bad. Lots of love xox
You are amazing in so many ways Laura <3
I’ve only just got round to catching up on the posts I have missed and this one is such a heart warming one, thank you for sharing Laura!
You may have had a challenging 2013 but you always have a smile and a witty word to share, courage and strength shine through hun and you have them in abundance.
Heres hoping 2014 is an incredible year for you and yours. Huge hugs.
X x
Happy New Year Laura, I hope 2014 is even better for you than 2013 was! x
What a lovely post! 🙂
I am so SO incredibly proud of you and it’s so wonderful to see and to be able to share in some of your happiness through your posts here. You’re so beautiful and brave and wonderful, don’t ever forget that! <3
Jennie xo | sailorjennie.com
Happy New Year Laura! So pleased that you are so happy and have such a lovely boyfriend, friends and family. Your post has really cheered me up. I haven’t really made any new years resolutions for 2014 except to be happy.
New Year, new challenges, but if this year is anything to go by, you’ll rise to it admirably. So pleased to hear so many exciting goals, and on the fitness topic, would love to see you in London for a VeloVixens or similar ride on this fixie of yours once it’s finished.
Here’s to 2014.
This is the best blog post ever. I’m so pleased for you <3
I agree with the other Anonymous, you are inspiring! I actually want to thank you for sharing your progress here, it’s given me a lot of hope to see your strength and courage and in the last couple of months your blog has been a reminder to me of what I really want to achieve. I’m sure I’m not the only one…
I wish you all the best for the new year! With your determination and positivity chances are low that it will be anything but amazing 🙂