bright lights

Jumper c/o Skip n Whistle
Skirt: Glamorous
Boots c/o Shoe Zone
Ahh this skirt, I’ve only had the balls to wear it once despite loving it, it’s so bright it sends off a pink glow when I wear it and I’m always a bit nervous of attention when I’m out in public. However I did decide to brave it on Thursday, which was so grey and rainy it needed some serious brightness. I think I cheered up Tesco at least.
How was everyone’s weekend? I’m exhausted and on a long, long day at work. Winning combination I’m sure!
Grand designs live was fantastic though, as was trekking around Birmingham and having a gorgeous meal out with Ben so it was worth it. I wouldn’t be half as tired if it wasn’t for mega bus breaking down and causing us to be well over an hour and a half late getting back…that in itself can’t be helped but I was appalled at the attitude of one of  their drivers who we asked for help when he stopped off to drop off some passengers on his way to Leeds. I’m not one to complain but I did shoot off an angry e-mail to mega bus about that one!
Sunday at least was more relaxed, once we eventually woke up. The sun was out and the temperature balmy for October so we went to the nearby park for a walk and a picnic. We attempted to feed the ducks but they were having none of it.
It’s so nice to be living a normal life these days, so nice. This recovery journey may be tempting to give up on at times but weekends like the one just gone remind me what I’d lose if I gave up now…onwards and upwards eh,
to a fulfilled live and a heavier (do I need to be?! my head can’t decide) me.
Have a great week!

12 comments for “bright lights

  1. I love the skirt! Ooh, I was in Birmingham too this weekend, didn’t realise Grand Designs Live was on – no wonder the trains were busy! x

  2. Sounds like a busy week. So glad you’re feeling happy a the moment – that skirt is so bright and colourful it would be hard not to when wearing it!

  3. Anonymous

    Do you need to make a decision about weight right now?!… If you’re in limbo and struggling with the thought of gaining weight so much that it’s making you question your recovery why not just try and work on something else for the moment? Make sure you keep your weight stable for now but give yourself a break in that department and maybe try to stop counting calories so much or eating something unknown and scarier when dining out (i know you like your noodle dish in wetherspoons but its also one of the lowest calorie items on the menu!).. Being free of anorexia is about so much more than being a healthy weight…. Stick with it.

  4. Anonymous

    You look a healthy weight now, I wouldn’t worry about pressuring yourself to gain more. Like the above poster said it sounds like you are still very rigid and over focused on food and your calories (and no it’s not just to ‘make sure you get enough.)’ You are weight restored, now start acting like it!

  5. Anonymous

    I’m sorry to disagree with what others have said but I really don’t agree with the two comments above. All the evidence supports full weight restoration for the best outcome of full recovery. I know you want this and I know it feels incredibly hard and near impossible to gain more, but it’s that last little bit of kicking ed a*se. I know you can do it Laura. I know it will be bloody hard but I think you would feel even better if completely nourished. I hope this doesn’t come across as being horrible, and I’m sure the people above were well meaning, I am just so desperate for you not to relapse and to live the life you so deserve. So in answer to your question, a very loud and firm YES!!xxx

  6. Anonymous

    I am sure you are well meaning too anon no 3 (not so sure about the second – weight restored? it’s obvious she’s not)… However, i stand by what i said.

    How long have you been trying to restore your weight for now Laura?.. Far FAR longer than the 0.5kg recommended weekly gain… I absolutely advocate continuing on with weight restoration and would never suggest stopping where you are – i do however think too much emphasis can be placed on the weight restoration aspect and other aspects such as rigid calorie control, rigid meal rules, etc etc can be ignored. Life without anorexia is a life free of these kinds of limitations… I don’t think it sounds like you’re really anywhere near there… Yes, you need to gain more weight to have the best chance of a full long term recovery. But you also need to lose some of your inhibitions around the rigidity, the knowledge of everything, learn flexibility, trust…

    Only you know how you really feel, but you have hinted a few times lately through your blog and facebook that you are finding things tough… if you were on the verge of giving up or ‘getting going’ im saying do it at your own pace – you’ve taken a very long time to get to where you are now, you’ve had hard times but you see the benefits and you see you’re happier and healthier – you can carry on doing that, it’s not a race – you’ve proven so far that slow and steady works for you, if in doubt go for that.

    Just do NOT go back.

    BTW.. i speak as someone who has now been fully weight restored for nearly two years and feel the best i’ve ever felt. I totally advocate weight restoration but i also think there’s so much more to work on too.

  7. Love that skirt. I definitely htink bright clothes are a great way to brighten up a dull day.

  8. I am in love with your neon pink Glamorous skirt!!! I lust for lingerie and feminine colour in that exact perfect neon pink colour (swoon). I love it!

  9. Anonymous

    I think she looks fine as she is! Why rush to pack more weight on and risk a relapse when she can’t cope with it?

    Like others have said though you are still very eating disordered in how rigid you are. There’s no point gaining the weight if you are still going to be trapped by the same behaviours.

  10. Love the skirt, very eye catching and pretty! Your Sunday picnic sounds lovely, nice the weather cheered up a little for the weekend.

    Sophie xo soinspo