To say there’s a lot going on right now would be a bit of an understatement; between working full time, planning a wedding and preparing to start the process of starting a family (more on that in a bit) it’s taken the timely arrival of this daily goal setter planner from Mâl Paper to help keep me on track.

This gorgeous planner is just what I need to keep my life on track. It’s designed to help you be more mindful and set goals to get you through even the most stressful days. It features sections for monthly, weekly and daily planning and is littered with inspirational quotes, plenty of space for writing down ideas and it made from the most beautiful quality paper. This has really helped me keep on track when it comes to to-do lists to help me reach my goals, as well as making sure I take time to focus on what has gone well each day and ensures I take time out for me.

The planner costs £21.95 and you can get 15% off your order at the moment with the code BRSPECIAL15

And how is all that planning going? Well…

Wedding wise, we’re making good progress. We have a venue, photographer, bridesmaids, bridesmaid dresses, hair and makeup, wedding rings and a few other bits and pieces under our belts. I’ve got some dress shopping appointments in the next two weeks and with 387 days to go, I’m feeling quite on top of things.
We’re in the process of finalising the guest list and sorting out the invites too- that’s our next big job, and whilst it might seem that we are way ahead at the moment, things are going to get crazy over the next few months and I just know time is going to fly.

And on to that whole starting a family thing…

Due to some very unfortunate circumstances, which I won’t go in to, Bob ended up being referred to a genetics specialist to get some tests done. The outcome from that is that he has tested positive for the BRAC2 genetic mutation that leads to an increased risk of certain cancers.
From his point of view, he’s ok. He’ll be screened from a much younger age and will get all sorts of fancy monitoring to ensure anything nasty is caught early.
His/our bigger concern at this point in time is what this means for our future children.
After meeting with a genetics consultant we’ve been offered something called PGD, a type of IVF that will eliminate the risk of passing the mutation on to our future child. After lengthy discussions we decided that this was the route we wanted to go down. Knowing that there is a 50% percent chance of passing this on- with a hugely increased risk for our future children of developing certain types of cancers (the statistics if we had a girl who had this mutation were scary) meant that we personally can’t justify not giving this a go. Obviously this is a very personal decision and not everyone will feel the same, but as we have been offered this opportunity we have decided to take it. And soon.

Right now the only barrier to us starting this treatment is my weight. It turns out that as well as there being a maximum BMI for any IVF/PGD referrals, there is also a minimum, which currently I am just about 2kg under. Knowing I am the only barrier between us and starting this journey (and we are both so ready for this) has been a real kick in the stomach for me as I’ve been dragging my feet and letting my eating disorder get in the way of making those final steps in weight restoration.
It’s also given me a massive kick up the backside and with any luck we’ll be getting that referral and starting this process in the very near future.

It’s exciting but scary times for the both of us right now. Being a Mum means the world to me, and being in a position now where that dream is slowly becoming a reality is a real “pinch me” moment. At one point I was being told I’d never get better, never live a normal life, and yet here I am- more happy and more content and healthier than I ever thought possible. It’s not going to be an easy road, for either of us but it’s one we’re excited to start down.
We’ve talked about it a lot and would like to share our journey, to some extent on the blog if people would be interested (well, even if you aren’t as it would be good for us to document the venture anyway).

So, for now you’ll find me with my head in my planner, setting myself goals and reminding myself why I’m doing this on the days when I’m feeling too full of food, bloated and defeated. I’m doing this for me, for Bob (who I credit for fully for showing me what it means to live and be loved), and for all of the friends and family who never gave up on me.

Until next time! And get buying those planners!